Pitch Directions


"...and that was the time I could not tolerate my own farts."
-Louw having a very intellectual conversation after Casey and Heuer enjoyed gas station corndogs and hot dogs.

"We sure don't work on that at practice!"
-Zach discussing Bremer's insane stiff arm skills.

"I'm sorry, things just escalated really fast!"
-Andrew at the All Iowa after crushing a glass bottle and spin kicking a table when prompted to "do something crazy." He was even polite enough to pick up the glass with his bare hands.

"Jen, sorry I called you Allison!"
-Zeus apologizing to TJ's girlfriend, whose name was in fact Allison.

"That's Behrends water!"
-Zach Behrends after slamming an Old Milwaukee Light during a water break.

"Oh man! Someone just destroyed me over the there!"
-Fish, gettting ready for a scrum in the Milwaukee game after being politely introduced to the ground.

"Figure it out!"
-The ref throughout the Eastside Banshees match. We never did figure "it" out...

"I am in no condition to be leading any sort of team right now."
-Zach Behrends about 4 hours after concluding Brett's bachelor party and about 5 minutes before starting play at the All Iowa.

"While you were in the weight room, I was busy pounding beers."
-Jody Fisher explaining to Cedar Rapids prop, Shrek, why he can drink like a fish.

"I don't have money to pay for it, so I have to finish the whole thing."
-Bill Knutson shortly before attempting the Chubby Challenge (a 3-lb burger with 1-lb of fries in an hour).
"I've puked, I've pooped, I'm done."
-Bill Knutson admitting defeat after dominated 1.5-lb of burger and a bunch of fries.

"Should I just take it now?"
-Alyssa shortly before having the pleasure of being in the middle of a Nick and Tom sandwich.

"Next time you see me coming, maybe you should consider passing the ball."
-Eric Pryor giving some friendly advice to a Fon du Lac back after mowing him. Pryor, we all know you would have hit him anyway, so this way he saved us the penalty.

"It's cool. In college I majored in drunk driving!"
-Cole Bliven five minutes before getting picked up for an OWI.

"Dude, fat people hate hot weather. That's a fact!"
-Danny Ramirez commenting on the weather after a game.

-Johnson providing his own sound effects during a guest appearance at wing at a UNI B-Side match.

"He was all like 'blabluebleeblablu'. And I was like POW, UFC-elbow!"
-Joe Randall describing a mid-game beatdown administered to an opposing player.

"If Fish was big, then he'd be BIG."
-Casey describing our 160-pound hooker.

"I'm pretty much immune to tazers. I've got the scars to prove it."
-Travis Behrends, enough said.

Zeus- "She is singleicious."
Joe Randal- "Dude, that's my wife!"
Meet the Bucks '07

"Why are my pants half way down?"
-Bill Knutson waking up the morning after Meet the Bucks in Tom Harn's basement with Nick, Zeus, Bieneman, and James

"I'm Gonna own those gold teeth."
-Zach Behrends, details cannot be disclosed

"Feel my arms... Yeah, I like to work out."
-Cole while dancing with a drunk gimmie. At least she stayed till the end of the song. Another lonely night

"Do you really want to Fuck with me?"
-Ingle to a cheating opponent after a ruck. We never knew he could speak until this point. And no, he doesn't want to fuck with you Ingle.